ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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