yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Best friends brother. Beat that.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
