OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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