So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
