Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
