This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
