there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
