like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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