Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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