it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Are we still banned from the library?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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