You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
