i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
