yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
