I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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