I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
