i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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