ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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