make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
