guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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