wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
be right there i have to get my cape
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
