sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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