Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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