Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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