Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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