I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
