you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
