he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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