were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
