I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
