At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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