I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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