even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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