Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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