I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
