Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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