So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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