i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
