I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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