You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have aggressive nipples.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
