bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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