is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
