Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I wear drunk well.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize