Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the room spins SO much faster in panama
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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