So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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