Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
