I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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