Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
