You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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