don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
