This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
