last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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