Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
