My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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