Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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