She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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