so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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