He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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