Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
